Long have we waited – and the day has come! Orcs from all corners of the globe are united! We have been aligned with the most sinister folk of modern times. This natural ally has brought our purpose to the forefront and we will now have the numbers necessary for a proper revenge!
The stench of man flesh draws near. What disgusting creatures, with their honor and values – their religions and morals – their arrogance and persistence. BLAH! They will all leave this earth writhing in pain! Then and only then will the Orcs, the superior beings blanket the earth with a terror worthy of song, of legend.
To our new comrades, we thank you for your fight! The Orcs are bound by nothing, save for a poor broadband connection. Without the war you’ve waged for our kind in the digital sphere, our return would’ve been for not! You have proved yourselves worthy companions in this campaign of global domination.
However, there is one thing to address about our new relationship.
We are aware that you share a bloodline with many of the pigs we want to slaughter. This will not be held against you, on one condition. You must alter yourselves indefinitely. By sight, it appears that many of you lack the muscle density it would require to participate on the battlefield. If you’re not to be left bleeding in the mud, you will take part in a new Orc conditioning regiment. This will ensure that your body can take the inevitable beating it will suffer in combat.
If you fail, then you are weak, your bloodline is weak, and you will not be remembered.
READY?! MARCH!
If These Mountains Could Talk 